The writing is immature. If you told me that a motivated junior in high school wrote this stuff, I would believe it. Transitions are terrible. Behaviors are not believable. Poor grammar. Also generally poor character development. Story and plot are both shallow. The narration sounds like there is a period after every second or third word. Very jerky.
This is all unfortunate, because the premise is interesting. But the poor writing in particular, topped off by bad narration, makes this a book I will not finish.
Maybe a 12 or 13 year-old would enjoy it.