I like the general story concepts but the writer loses track of actions in drawn out combat scenes. When relating “bullet time” events, far too many actions and thoughts are jammed into what should be fractions of a second; the author tries too hard to give split second events gravity and makes the story messy.
The dialogue can be unrealistic/melodramatic at times.
Things I found irritating:
1. if you have significant world notifications in a series, everyone should be aware and maybe even have a reaction. (A reader at this stage in the timeline is well aware of what else should be happening in the world.)
2. every bomb cannot be disarmed with 1 second remaining and every injury leaving 1 percent health doesn’t avoid the lethality of a stubbed toe.
3. the good guys can’t successfully build an escape airplane from half a coconut and an old shoestring then fly away when the bad guy is distracted by the hero pointing and saying “whatever in the world could that ever be!?”
4. “suffice it to say”, serious people don’t seriously say: “suffice it to say”. Save that dialogue for b-movie psychopaths and the pizza delivery guy in a 1970’s adult film.
I still enjoy the stories but increasingly find the price point too high for this level of writing.
I want the writer to continue writing, he’s got guts, interesting ideas, and commitment… but he needs an editor.